I don't know how bad mine truly is, but I do know that I could wake up first thing in the morning saying to myself "I am going to do amazing today! Salads, low calories, fruits, veggies, moderation!" and the by noon while I'm at the grocery store I'll have a bag of chips in my cart and by 9 pm that bag is almost empty.
When you have a food addiction you really need to mentally prepare for weight loss. It's been a year since my brain was slapped and I decided to finally begin losing weight and I'm at a breaking point. This whole summer has been wasted for me. Stress has reared it's ugly head and it's just too much for me to resist that sweet Canadian chocolate and delicious coke slurpees and my biggest vice... chips. Why couldn't I have been addicted to peas? Chips? Could I be addicted to anything worse? I hear the words "Kettle cooked" and I start salivating.
The worst part about it is I'm not going to change until I choose to. I have to make the choice to go grocery shopping and have the will power to skip the chip aisle. It's all on me...
When you're at the beginning of a giant weight loss journey it's really easy because you have weight to lose... but when you're at the end... and the last ten or so pounds wants to stay longer at the fat party than the rest of your fat guests it becomes discouraging to try!
I hate comparing. It's toxic. I try reaaaaallly hard not to, but when you're the fat sister out of 6...7 if you include my mother... it becomes discouraging. I don't want to be thinner then them... I just want to be equal. It's toxic. I just can't help it.
I think being obsessed with this for a solid year hasn't been the best thing for me. I'm glad I'm finally making progress and getting healthier but I feel like I need a break from it without the consequences of gaining weight back, which I know I've started to.
So what is that thing that slapped my brain into trying in the first place? I don't understand it. I want it back!
Boo to weight loss and food addictions.
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